3 December 2013
1. You Change Throughout College
Whether it’s the kids that come in fresh out of high school or those that wait until later in their twenties, four years of undergraduate studies changes a human being. You’re one way when you arrive, and another way when you leave. Think about how much you’ll have learned!
With that said, it makes dating somewhat more difficult for most students. There’s so much going on. So many deadlines. So many choices. Typically a large dating pool where everyone’s hooking up with someone. Just remember that if you hook up with someone early on in your freshmen year, the relationship must be able to adapt as you both change as people.
2. Many Different Shades of Grey
You’ve got to be precise when it comes to college dating. Let’s look at the four most common types or definitions:
Courting: You’re both digging on one another and it’s obvious to everyone there’s something going on, but it’s not serious yet. You’re still getting to know both yourselves and each other.
Exclusive: It’s official, everyone else has to keep their hands off of both of you. Social lives can easily begin to suffer here, which isn’t necessarily a great idea in college where you’re supposed to be getting out there and involved.
Temporary: You’re exclusively dating but there’s no illusions. Once the graduation dates come you’re both going your separate ways. It means you won’t have to deal with being single, but there isn’t a post-college long-term commitment either. However, there are still some ways to save your relationships after graduation.
Fling: Also known as the fresh, sophomore, junior and senior year fling. Yeah, they can happen every year. Typically around spring. You’ve been eyeing one another all year in college or passing by in the halls or whatever, and finally you’re hooking up for the summer.
3. A Long Term Question
In America, more than half of the ladies walking around campus everyday secretly or publically hope to meet their spouse while in college. As you might have guessed, that number tends to be a bit lower with college guys. Most of them aren’t thinking much farther ahead than mid-terms, or this coming Friday night.
4. Dating can get Expensive!
Unfortunately, for the vast majority of college students out there today, dating isn’t really a viable financial prospect. Not serious dating anyhow. Going out get be pricey enough. When possible, keep dating as humble as possible.
5. Grades Could Suffer
Once people begin throwing the “L” word around, things could get complicated. What if there’s a pregnancy? If grades are a high priority, then keep it that way and make sure that dating doesn’t cause you to completely divert from your long term goals.
6. Guys and Girls Are not at the Same Page
While most girls think of relationships as committment to the other person and love, most guys don’t strive for anything serious in college and approach relationships as fun. This is about not about “good” or “bad” – it’s just the fact caused by differences in gender psychology. Both boys and girls should find balance between “having fun” and “serious commitment” and discuss their expetations from the relationships before jumping into things too quickly.
7. Be a ‘Yes’ Person
It’s college. If someone asks you out you nod and say, “yes.” Simple. Obviously there are exceptions, but as a general rule you should be taking every single opportunity that comes your way to make friends, learn about new people and set up college networks of friends. Give people a chance you normally wouldn’t. Remember, after college it’s all about who you know.
8. Expectations are Poisonous
When dating in college it’s best to keep the expectations at a minimum for the first few months. Is it a fling? Are you expecting a relationship from someone who is in a transitional phase of their life? Are they expecting you to wait and be faithful while they’re in Europe for six months without you? It’s best to keep your priorities in line and go with the flow.
9. Date Outside Your Major
Whenever possibly try to dating someone in finance or marketing. If you’re in finance or marketing, go for a philosophy major. I’m kidding. But honestly, try not to get yourself stuck inside a little bubble where you never leave your own area of study. Date someone from a completely different major. Mingle! Get to know and make friends with people in as many different majors as possible.
10. Online College Dating?
Is it really even online dating if you go to the same college? Hey, these days if you have issues with going to parties or trying to ask out people in your classes, then hop online and reach out to them that way. At this point, there’s nothing abnormal about it.
“Hey, aren’t you in my 9am English class?”
You can engage people in texting conversations and Facebook updates without having to get up close and personal. Overall, dating in college can be tricky for some, and easy for others. Make sure to live it up!
Have you ever dated someone in your class? What that easy or not? Share your experience in the comments section!
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