13 February 2014
This list of 25 believable excuses for being late to college or anywhere else is going to disturb you. Why? Well, because of how believable these excuses really are!
Dive in and see for yourself.
1. Sorry, the global economic collapse bogged me down.
One way or another everyone is being dealt continuous blows by the collapse of debt-based economic systems. There’s got to be a way you can work it in.
2. I thought I had radiation poisoning.
The Fukushima nuclear disaster is an ongoing issue and the experts say radioactive water and waste will be inundating the West Coast soon. Ultimately the entire world is going to be dealing with this for a long time.
3. I had a hardcore anxiety attack.
Anxiety is the most common psychological issue in America and anxiety attacks can happen unexpectedly and be severe.
4. Climate change did it.
The roads in and out of Jerusalem were buried in snow recently, and people were making snowmen around the pyramids in Egypt. Dude…
5. Unexpected philanthropic activities came up.
An opportunity to donate to a heart melting charity came up and you simply had to save the lives of some kittens.
6. The (Insert random animal name) Flu.
Bird flu, swine flu, antibiotic-resistant flu…at this point you could literally just choose an animal and put the word flu after it and you’ll probably be in the clear. Aardvark flu anyone?
7. I got audited by the IRS.
Maybe you’re a part of a political group that doesn’t agree with the current plutocracy. Maybe you believe in your constitutional rights. Maybe you don’t believe that it’s legal for the government to force you to purchase insurance. There’s many reasons to get audited these days.
8. I was stopped at a random police checkpoint.
Sad but true. In America today checkpoints are setup all over and drivers are being increasingly harassed. Some are told to give up their genetic information, submit to cheek swabs, etc. It’s getting scary out there!
9. Fracking-caused earthquakes broke my water pipes.
It’s not quite official yet, but fracking seems to be causing earthquakes. If one were to break your water pipes you would have to stay home and deal with it.
10. Foofy’s RFID chip went haywire!
Yeah, really. It’s so odd but believable that most bosses and professors will just shrug and go with it.
11. GMO-related food poisoning.
This is serious. Over-processed, packaged and preserved foods are becoming downright toxic at this point, especially since major food manufacturers are messing with things on the genetic level.
12. A woman in labor stopped her car in front of me.
It could totally happen.
13. Sudden eviction/repossession notice.
Innumerable homes are being repossessed across the nation as the debt and mortgage-backed securities bubbles continue to burst. Some paperwork got mixed up and you needed to sort things out before you ended up on the street.
14. Road rage (not yours) car accident.
Someone flipped out behind the wheel, caused an accident and you were stuck in the ensuing traffic jam.
15. Debilitating back pain.
Back pain is one of the most common sources of long-term pain in America.
16. You took the wrong pharmaceuticals.
People overdosing on pharmaceuticals has reached almost epidemic levels. Furthermore, people get prescribed the wrong ones is also happening at an alarming rate. In a country where 7/10 people are on 3 or more, it’s not that hard to believe.
17. Suffered a stress induced migraine.
Totally believable and there’s no way to even move let alone go to work or class.
18. Your identity was hacked.
Happens all the time. These days to millions of people all at once. Target was the last victim.
19. A drone crashed into your car.
Within a few years there will be somewhere between 30-50,000 drones flying around American skies. Their bound to start malfunctioning and crashing on a regular basis. Did you hear Amazon will soon be using them to deliver goods?
20. Police mistakenly raided your home.
Again, disturbingly common.
21. Power Outage + Alarm Clock Reset
Only use this excuse when there’s been a reported power outage anywhere near your home.
No one wants you around with bugs in your hair.
23. I got called away on a dental emergency.
Anyone that’s suffered with real tooth pain will pardon the tardiness.
24. It’s (insert random Middle Eastern county name) fault.
Apparently just about anything can be blamed on a country these days if that country happens to be in the Middle East.
25. A friend was put on the no-fly list and stranded at the airport.
There’s so many names of the list and with the NSA debacle going on…it could happen to anyone and if it does trying to travel becomes a real pain.
How about you, do you have any really disturbingly believable excuses for being late that we should add to this list?
Useful samples and examples: https://essays.io/resume-examples-samples/